On the Tablet of My Heart

"I'm mad. I'm mad at God...It's not fair." I'm a fixer.  I like to have an answer for every question, a solution for every problem, a cure for every hurt. So when I found my friend's text message after work today, I immediately started racking my brain for the perfect answer. She knew I would; she's put up with me long enough.  I've also known her long enough. Long enough to know exactly which hurts she was referring to. Long enough to know that she doesn't necessarily expect an answer - she just needs me to listen. So, after reminding myself of that fact, I stopped texting in the middle of my reply and put down the phone. To be honest, I didn't have a good response anyways. Do any of us, really?  Who hasn't wondered where God was in the middle of a crisis?  Who hasn't questioned if He's even heard our prayer or seen our heartache? Which of us hasn't screamed, "God, this isn't fair!" if not out loud, ...

Surface Searching at Crater of Diamonds - March 24, 2017 Yesterday my family visited the Crater of  Diamonds State Park in Murfreesboro, Arkansas. Dozens of families and hopeful individuals paid an entrance fee to search for diamonds in the plowed field of the world's 8th largest diamond-bearing volcanic crater. My own family spent at least three hours surface searching and wet mining, and eleven hours driving (round trip) in order to be able to do so. It was an exciting experience, knowing that there was a possibility (though slim) that we might be able to find a treasure in this field. At the very least, we were in the right area, a location proven to be full of one of the world's rarest jewels, and they were free for the taking if one only found the right place to look and examined the soil closely enough! We sifted through piles of dirt inspecting each handful more closely than one might search for a needle in a hay stack.  But in the end,...

I felt sorry for him. I really did. This past Sunday our youth hosted a spaghetti fundraiser after church. Of course everyone was invited, but, being February 12th, our luncheon had a Valentine's Day theme. One of the highlights of the dinner was the "Newlywed Game," and we had 5 victims - I mean volunteers - who bravely recorded their answers to eight personal questions about their beloved brides. The questions ranged from "Where did you go on your first date?" to "Which flower represents your wife early in the morning?" a. sunflower b. lady of paradise c. snapdragon You know how the game is played. The ladies were asked the same question and gave their answer in front of everyone before their husbands revealed what they had written down. I'm sure you can imagine the laughter that took place around the room. If you've ever participated in such a game, you can also imagine the conversations that occurred - or perhaps DIDN'T - on the...

The only way to fight for your marriage is to fight against yourself. There. the secret is out.  Probably not what you expected to hear. Certainly not what you wanted to hear.  But in my experience at least, its the stark, honest truth. Sounds like a dichotomy doesn't it?  Fight for yourself by fighting against yourself. No more so, though, than Jesus saying that those who want to save their lives must lose them. I first learned this lesson several years ago after a fight with my husband. Apparently, I'm a slow learner as I've had to keep learning it many times over the past fifteen years, and I suspect will continue to learn in the future.  But, for now, I'll share my experience. We'd been fighting.  Now in my home that doesn't mean a screaming match or anything that would give our neighbors reason to call the police.  (I know there are relationships where fighting is literal and presents an immediate danger. I can't sa...

I'm not, you know.  Not BOLD . Far from it, in fact. I've been accused of being timid, shy, standoffish, a wallflower...but never bold.  That's why when she handed me the name tag, I looked to the next person in line.  I was waiting for one that actually described me. Perhaps I should start at the beginning.  I never had a problem making new friends; I just had a hard time keeping them.  I went to a small Christian school and when we would occasionally get a new student I would usually be the first to befriend the girls.  Sound bold?  Not really.  It took a while for the other students to warm up to them, invite them into their tight-knit circle so to speak.  I was just trying to make them feel comfortable and hopefully find a friend of my own in the process. But I was too timid to be myself around the whole group and usually wound up feeling like the outsider. Yeah, I was a lot more comfortable one-on-one. As a teacher now, wh...

Leave it to a teenager to ask the hard questions.  It was Wednesday night this week.  I was speaking to our youth group about the movie Moana and the spiritual lessons I took away from this animated kid's movie (Yes, even Disney can be a source for understanding God's plan for my life!). But that's a topic for another blog. Somehow, and I honestly don't even remember how, the topic switched from Moana's courage and determination to follow what she knew was in her heart, despite all the odds being stacked against her, to the Biblical prophecies of the end times and the persecution that Christians will endure.  Oh yes, I'm seeing my train of thought now. Seems like it went something like this... "Moana didn't let anything keep her from doing what she knew in her heart was right." "Like how we shouldn't let things like peer pressure keep us from following our passion for Christ?" "Exactly! We need to be prepared because on...

We all have those days, right?  Those days when all the thoughts in your head are negative.  Those days when you are your own worst enemy.  The ones when you beat yourself up because you can't seem to do anything right and you just aren't enough no matter how hard you try.  Or maybe that's just me...if so, thanks for looking, but you can stop reading this blog right now. It was one of those days.  I had tried to start the day out right.  I'd read a chapter in Romans.  I'd gotten my kids outside, away from the electronics.  Still, I felt that negativity fogging up my brain, so I started walking around our circle drive trying to pray. But even my prayers became focused on all the ways I felt I was failing.  There I was, crying out to God because - no matter how I tried or what I did - I didn't feel like I loved him well enough; I just wasn't the Christian I needed to be. About this time, my son Hunter got...