Hope Again: The Love That Will Not Leave You Lonely

I felt sorry for him. I really did.

This past Sunday our youth hosted a spaghetti fundraiser after church. Of course everyone was invited, but, being February 12th, our luncheon had a Valentine's Day theme. One of the highlights of the dinner was the "Newlywed Game," and we had 5 victims - I mean volunteers - who bravely recorded their answers to eight personal questions about their beloved brides. The questions ranged from "Where did you go on your first date?" to "Which flower represents your wife early in the morning?"
a. sunflower
b. lady of paradise
c. snapdragon

You know how the game is played. The ladies were asked the same question and gave their answer in front of everyone before their husbands revealed what they had written down. I'm sure you can imagine the laughter that took place around the room. If you've ever participated in such a game, you can also imagine the conversations that occurred - or perhaps DIDN'T - on the car ride home!

Actually, overall they did pretty well.  That is, all except one. He's the one I felt sorry for. First of all, he doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who's eager to be in the spotlight. Still, he tried. He gave it his best shot.  He loved her enough to step outside his comfort zone and play along, and for that I had to admire him. By the 3rd or 4th time their answers didn't match up though, I could see the regret on his face. His answers came more hesitantly, almost apologetically. Even when he tried to be considerate (the ONLY one who described his wife as a "sunflower" in the mornings), they just couldn't seem to get on the same page.

Perhaps you can relate.

For some, this holiday isn't all pink & white hearts or chocolate covered candies.  For some, Valentine's Day has you seeing red or feeling blue. Perhaps even battling a green-eyed monster or two...

So what are we to do with a day that's intended to celebrate love, when many of us - single and married alike - often feel unloved?  As Proverbs 14:10 says, "Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy." Its easy to get lost in our loneliness, believing no one else sees or understands what we are going through.

Loneliness. How that word makes us cringe!  An actor of single motivation yet wearing many masks, stowed away behind the scene while impacting almost everything.  I recently heard a pastor list loneliness as perhaps the biggest obstacle for a single person trying to live God's way in our culture today.  I can see that.  I would add, though, that it's not just a problem for those who are single.  The fact that so many marriages end in divorce should be proof enough of that. Additionally, there are others who honor their vows even while struggling with loneliness, rejection, and neglect.

No, loneliness isn't just a struggle for those who have yet to find a spouse. It eventually presents a problem for even those in committed relationships.  It is an obstacle, also, for those who've lost a spouse to disease, divorce, or any other type of devastation.  For all the cards, candy, and bouquets sold on Valentine's, I'd venture to say that the majority of the population resents the day as nothing more than a reminder of "hope deferred" (Proverbs 13:12). Today, though, I want us not to focus on the loneliness we often feel, but rather on the second part of that verse: "a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." Let me remind you today, in case no one else has, that you are loved.

You are loved with a love that surpasses knowledge, a love that grounds and sustains you as roots do a tree, a love that establishes you as the child of the King of Kings (Ephesians 3:17-19). This love not only makes you His, but also proclaims you a conqueror, giving you the victory. Nothing in the entire universe can separate you from this love (Romans 8:37-39)!  God's love for you is everlasting (Jeremiah 31:3); He lavishes it upon you (1 John 3:1). His is a love that honors and protects you, a love that is patient and forgiving, a love that always perseveres - even when its tough (1 Corinthians 13:4-8). His is a love that will never fail and never be shaken, though everything else around you falls apart (Isaiah 54:10).

Can I ask a favor? Don't gloss over that last paragraph too quickly.  Go back and re-read it. Take the time to read the verses. Let His words of love sink into your soul and restore hope within your heart. Let His words - His love letter to you - revive and rejuvenate your very being, the being He created to commune with Him, to be in close relationship, intimate and united with Himself.

This love - this incredible, inconceivable love - is everything you have longed for and more.  You see, God's love has never failed you. May I be blunt?  It is when you have searched for love outside of Him that you have been let down, is it not?  It is when you have tried to find your identity in someone else's love, or have placed your hope in another source, that you have come away disheartened and disillusioned.  I know because I, too, have tried this. Yet, even then, God's love did not fail me.  In the most heart-wrenching nights, in my deepest loneliness, in moments of betrayal and despair, it was His love that quieted me (Zephaniah 3:17), His truth that stabilized me, His presence that gave me peace beyond understanding and joy in the midst of my pain.  His love was, is, and always will be enough.  For both you and for me.

Perhaps you haven't experienced this love yet.  Perhaps like that couple in the newlywed game, you've struggled to get on the same page.  Maybe you used to be close to God, but something caused you to walk away.  Maybe you never have been.  That's okay; His love remains.  You see, I don't believe that you are reading this by chance.  Not for one second.  If you are reading this, He has chosen you. He loves you, and He longs for you to know Him intimately, just as He knows you. His promise in Jeremiah 33:3 is for you too, "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." Do it.  Step outside of your comfort zone, trust in His perfect, unfailing love, and hope again.  He will not leave you lonely.

How can I know?  Because His very nature is love. His plan is not for you to be lonely, as some of you have been questioning, but rather to make you complete in Him. Before the creation of the world, He chose you - even predestined you - to become His through His Son, Jesus Christ (Ephesians 1:4-5).  What greater love could any of us be looking for?