Where is God When Life Isn't Fair?

"I'm mad. I'm mad at God...It's not fair."

I'm a fixer.  I like to have an answer for every question, a solution for every problem, a cure for every hurt. So when I found my friend's text message after work today, I immediately started racking my brain for the perfect answer. She knew I would; she's put up with me long enough. 

I've also known her long enough. Long enough to know exactly which hurts she was referring to. Long enough to know that she doesn't necessarily expect an answer - she just needs me to listen. So, after reminding myself of that fact, I stopped texting in the middle of my reply and put down the phone.

To be honest, I didn't have a good response anyways. Do any of us, really?  Who hasn't wondered where God was in the middle of a crisis?  Who hasn't questioned if He's even heard our prayer or seen our heartache? Which of us hasn't screamed, "God, this isn't fair!" if not out loud, at least in our spirits? Haven't we all?

But even though I was able to stop my fingers from responding right away, I couldn't stop my mind from gnawing away at the problem.

Can I share with you what finally settled in my spirit?  Not just for my friend, but for all of you reading out there...because surely we two aren't the only ones who've struggled with the question of where God is when life isn't fair.

I am convinced that every person everywhere has a deep-seated heartache - one (or more) of their greatest desires gone unfulfilled. Often those longings seem so good and so right that we question why a good God would refuse us something so essential to our happiness. I am convinced that it is these unfulfilled desires that test our true character.  Will we let them drive us to the God who created us to be completely fulfilled only in relationship with Him?  Or will we let our desperation to have our desires fulfilled - with or without Him - drive us to rebellion? Drive us away from our Creator and the only Source in whom true fulfillment exists?

This question has been the ultimate question since Eve was tempted with the forbidden fruit and her husband, Adam, followed suit.

I remember reading a couple of years ago, at a point in my life when I have probably been closer to rebelling against God's truth than at any other time in my life, a devotional written in the mid-1900s.  I wish I could remember the author and title because I would certainly share the source, but I will never forget the lesson that I learned: Your greatest temptation will come in the form of the one thing you feel God hasn't provided you with.

This revelation came at a pivotal time in my life. The author pointed out how God had provided everything in the Garden of Eden. After all, God himself looked at all he had made and said, "It is very good" (Gen. 1:31). Even today in its fallen state, when we look at nature we see the remnants of its beauty and can only imagine how perfect the Garden of Eden must have been. So here is Eve, in this beautiful, perfect, nourishing garden, beside a gorgeous man (who has eyes only for her by the way), and each day God himself comes and visits with them personally.  He has provided everything she could possibly need! What more could she want?  Oh, just one thing: to be more like God. She was tempted by the one thing she felt God had withheld from her.

How often do we try to get what we think we need apart from God? How often do we fail to trust his timing or his infinite knowledge of who we are and what we are capable of dealing with at this present moment? How easily we forget his bountiful blessings and focus instead on the one piece of the puzzle that seems to be missing in our lives. Oh, the heartache we endure when we go about life this way! When we spend our time wondering about the missing link instead of in wonder of his love for us.

Where was God when Eve subjected us all to the consequences of sin?  Designing a plan that would cost him everything, but redeem us to himself.

Where was God when everything Job cared about was destroyed?  He was correcting misconceptions about who He was, who we are, and how He restores what Satan destroys.

Where was God when Joseph was sold into slavery simply because he was a dreamer?  Providing for the needs coming up ahead, for those who would have nothing if not for his foresight.

Where was God when Moses spent forty years tending sheep that weren't even his?  Preparing a leader to take his people out of their slavery and right into the Promised Land.

Where was God when Hannah wept so bitterly over her barrenness that the priest berated her for being drunk? Opening her womb to conceive a child who would hear God's voice and become a man through whom God could pour out his anointing on others.

Where was God when the great prophet Elijah ran terrified from a single woman? Whispering the secrets of his love, his reserves, his strength, his supremacy to this man who'd failed, yet was still chosen by him.

Where was God when Daniel's friends were removed from their country and thrown into a fire for refusing to worship a golden idol? Protecting them from harm as he walked through the fire alongside them.

Where was God when a father had to helplessly watch demons torment his son for years? Orchestrating a demonstration of the power He pours into our lives and the lives of our loved ones when we seek him through prayer and fasting.

Where was God when Martha and Mary wept bitterly over their brother's death? Coming to the rescue, proving to us all that its never too late for him to come through for us because neither sickness nor death itself is a match for him.

Where was God when Stephen suffered the blows of being stoned to death for his faith in Jesus? Standing before his throne,  honoring Stephen's great faith, courage, and sacrifice as He welcomed him into his eternal, heavenly home.

And where is God when your life isn't fair?  You can rest assured he's working "for the good of those who love him, who are called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28). He's working for you whether you see him at work or not. He's working, my friend, for as you can see, God is a God of action.  From the beginning through the very end, he is a God who comes through for those who put their faith in Him.

No, I don't have a quick, easy, pat answer for my friend that will make understanding dawn and pain fade away.  How I wish I did.  But life is messy.  Its complicated. Its often unfair.  It hurts. Yet in our suffering we draw closer to the One who is the answer (Phil. 3:10), and in our desperation we find that he is truly the One we most desperately need. 

If you need to vent your anger at the injustice of it all, our God is big enough to handle it;  I assure you, he'll love you still.  But switching gears for just a minute, may I ask, how many of us have ever been unfairly accused?  When that happened, how many of us have longed for just one person to believe the best of us, to trust us despite the accusations?  And if we, who are made in the image of God, have such longings, I have to wonder if God himself does not long for someone to do the same. To place our trust in his goodness, focusing on the many times he's proven his faithfulness, instead of listening to the accuser.

Will you choose, today, to know that even when life is not fair, God is working out of his love for you? As Hebrews 4:15-16 reminds, "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are - yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." This scripture is not just talking about temptation to sin.  Jesus is also able to empathize with your deepest yearnings. He knows you, beloved. He understands your heartache, your desperation. If he did not, would he, too, have wept alongside Mary before Lazarus's tomb? Would Scripture record that he was "moved with compassion" time and time again before healing the diseased and delivering the demon-possessed? Would he bother to collect your tears in his bottle (Psalm 56:8) if he did not so completely identify with your sorrows - with you? 

"Cast all your cares upon him," my friend, "for he cares for you" (1 Peter 5:7).