No More Default: Living by Choice

It's been a while since I've written. Not because I haven't wanted to. Not even because I haven't had any inspiration. Simply because I haven't had time. As a full-time mom, wife, teacher, college student, and youth leader its hard to find the time for anything more. My schedule is crammed tighter than most people's jeans after three Thanksgiving dinners. And I know I'm not the only one feeling that way. My middle school students often tell me they didn't get their assignments finished because they...(you guessed it)...didn't have time! My mom, who has been retired for just over a year now, shared with me the other day about something she'd been wanting to do, but hasn't been able to find the time.  It seems no matter what age or life situation, we are all feeling pressed for time.

Recently my phone started giving me fits. It all began when I was trying to record my thirteen-year-old son's first wrestling match.  Apparently three minutes of video maxed out my phone's internal memory and I received a notification that some functions would no longer work because I was "dangerously low on file space."

I immediately started trying to clear out and delete things I didn't need so there would be enough space to record the next match.  All to no avail.  I deleted apps. I optimized space through settings.  Nothing I tried worked in the least. My phone insisted: You are dangerously low on file space.  Needless to say, I wasn't able to record the next match, which wound up being the best of his season.

A trip to Verizon revealed that a default had been set on my phone causing it to constantly update all apps anytime my phone had access to the internet. There was no way to get the storage space back without factory-resetting my phone and losing all of my contacts. My options were either to buy a new phone or purchase a memory card and have it installed. I was so frustrated!

I couldn't use my phone for the things that really mattered to me - the things I would choose - because it was so full of things I didn't choose, things that were being chosen for me, things I wasn't even aware of.

That's when it hit! I could be angry about this, which would accomplish nothing, or I could learn a very valuable lesson from it:

Life is like that phone!

So many of the responsibilities, thought processes, feelings, emotions, errands, etc. that eat up our days are simply time-stealers.  They feel so pressing in the moment, that we don't even realize they are taking up important space in our lives and crowding out our capacity for the things that mater most - the things we would choose. Recognizing this is the first step in taking back control. 

If you have noticed yourself being impatient with those most important to you, rushing about trying to accomplish more than you have time for, experiencing physical pain you know is the result of stress, chances are, your life, like mine, is dangerously low on file space. 

The truth is, my problem runs much deeper than whether or not I'm able to record memories on my phone. I had to ask myself some difficult questions: 

• What are my priorities? 
• What relationships am I sacrificing on the altar of responsibilities?
• What worries are weighing down my spirit and whittling away at my peace of mind? 
• How many of my feelings and emotions are merely residual from things in the past, yet being allowed to influence my attitude in the present? 
• How can I choose what is better? 

In Luke 10:42, Jesus told Martha that Mary had chosen what was better and that it would not be taken from her. In this particular passage he was referring to Mary's choice to spend time in relationship with him over her responsibilities in the kitchen. Now I'm not recommending that the dishes never get washed! But, I am suggesting that our relationships with those we love are worthy of a greater time investment than perhaps what they have been receiving.  I'm also very certain, at least in my own life, that there are areas where I must become more selective about what I let become areas of focus. 

Ephesians 5:15-21 cautions us: "Pay careful attention, then, to how you live - not as unwise people but as wise - making the most of the time, because the days are evil.  So don't be foolish but understand what the Lord's will is. And don't get drunk with wine, which leads to reckless living, but be filled by the Spirit: speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing and making music with your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of Christ." (Christian Standard Version)

We have all been guilty of wasting time, often unwittingly, though sometimes too willingly. Awareness is key. Once I found out the problem with my phone, I changed the setting.  It still cost me, but I won't make the same mistake again. And something good came of it; I learned that in life, as with my phone, default settings are not your friend!  It is my choice what I allow my thoughts to focus on, what attitude I choose to have, what things are worthy of my time. But in order for me to choose well, I first need to "understand what the Lord's will is." I need to pay close attention and choose wisely. I may need to cut things out of my life that take away from my ability to live to the fullest.  I need to make sure that I am encouraging others, living joyfully, and giving thanks. Every choice I make should be done with one purpose - to honor Christ!

That's the priority I choose. I will not be enslaved to things that have no eternal value. "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery" (Galatians 5:1). Freedom and choice go hand in hand; change your default and live by choice!