A Message for the Woman Struggling as the Spiritual Leader of Her Home

Chances are, if you are reading this based on the title alone, you're in desperate need of some encouragement right now.  However you came to this position, I can almost hear you whispering, "Its not how life was supposed to be."

Like me, you've probably sat through sermons on Ephesians 5:21-33 about the husband being the spiritual head of the home, while secretly wondering how many sets of eyes were wandering your way as you sat alone in the pew.

You've probably offered a silent prayer that went something like this, "God, I know that's how you meant for families to be, but what about me?  I didn't choose this, God."

You've questioned whether you were enough, had what it would take.

Likely, you've fought hard against the sin of jealousy, trying courageously to be happy for the sister whose husband prays beside her at the alter, while battling the voices that make you feel less than worthy.

You've assured yourself, "He surely didn't mean it that way," when a well-intentioned pastor tried to stir the hearts of husbands and fathers to action, but left mothers, trying to do it on their own, feeling oh-so-inadequate.

And I'm very certain, you've shed tears no one else has seen, offered prayers only God has heard, sacrificed beyond what you thought you could endure, and questioned, "How long, O God? How long?"

If this describes you, if you're trying to lead your home in a Godly way, trudging on no matter how difficult or dry the season, you need to hear about the Shunammite woman before you take another step!

Just who is the Shunammite woman? Perhaps you've never heard of her at all, or perhaps you've read right over those verses in 2 Kings and been so enamored by the story of Elisha, the man of God, that you didn't quite catch the role this woman of God had to play.

It's first noted that the Shunammite feeds Elisha when he travels through town.  But her heart's not content with that alone.  She sees a greater need, and like most of the women I know - when this happens, she takes action! The Shunammite approaches her husband about having a small room added to their home for Elisha to use as needed, and he agrees to it. Maybe you're thinking that's not so surprising, after all, Biblical women were supposed to show hospitality, right?  Mmmm, well I see a little more to it.  First of all, for her husband to listen to her, that shows that she has her husband's favor AND is a woman of integrity.  Remember, it would have cost him something to have the room added onto the house. Besides, how many men do you know who would be comfortable adding on an extra room to invite an extra man into the equation?  This woman had obviously displayed insight, wisdom, and discretion in the past in order for her husband to fulfill such a request.

Also, apparently Elisha thought she'd done something special, too, because he calls the woman and asks what he can do for her to show his gratitude.  Her first response (again, like many of us) is to deny that she has a need.  But even though her answer speaks of contentment and humility, in truth, she's given up all hope of her greatest desire ever being met.  When Elisha's servant points out that the woman has no son, Elisha calls her and prophesies that within a year, she will! Instead of rejoicing and gratitude, his promise meets with resistance as it collides into her walls. She responds, "No, my lord! Please man of God, don't mislead your servant!"

As you likely know, it takes some time for hopes to become dashed to this point.  When hope is met with disappointment, after disappointment, after disappointment, eventually we build up walls to protect ourselves.  Proverbs 13:12 says, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." Even though we'd love for the first half of that verse to just disappear, its truth remains. And all too often, rather than continue being hurt, we try to protect ourselves by shielding our hearts from the very thing it longs for most. Fortunately for us, God refuses to leave us that way!  As we see in the Shunammite's story, He invades. He tears down those walls we patch together, those walls, that for all our diligence, wind up about as successful as Adam and Eve's fig leaves. He restores our hope.  Within the year, God fulfills Elisha's word and the woman's greatest longing!

Fairy tale ending?  If it was, I wouldn't be writing this.  I think we're all well beyond believing the story ends when the glass slipper fits.

Time passes and the boy becomes old enough to go out into the field with his father while he's working. When the boy starts complaining about not feeling well, the father tells a servant, "Carry him to his mother." Maybe its not fair for me to judge this man from that sentence alone, but - right or wrong - you know how we ladies tend to read into what men say! His wording, as well as his actions, tell me he's too busy to be bothered:  he doesn't have time for complaining;  he has work to do; let mom take care of it. And apparently, that's the message she reads too, because even when the boy dies, she doesn't bother her husband with her grief.

Why do you suppose she doesn't?  I suspect there are several reasons.  First, besides the fact that her husband's busy, she knows he can't give her what she needs in this moment.  Only God can! And therefore she goes to the man she knows has God's ear. Secondly, why doesn't she tell her husband the whole truth when she lets him know that she's going to see Elisha?  I would infer that its due to his lack of faith. Even Jesus himself shut the unbelievers out when he went in to raise the dead girl back to life (Mark 5:40). It is also recorded in Mark 6:5-6, "He [Jesus] could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them.  He was amazed at their lack of faith." If her husband were a believer, wouldn't she have sent him to get the prophet?  After all, that would have been more appropriate than a woman traveling alone to meet a man who wasn't her husband.  It stands to reason that this woman, as the spiritual leader of her home, can't risk having her faith weakened in this moment. When you are facing a great crisis, you want to involve only those who will believe with you, not those whose lack of faith will make you question yours.

Once again, the Shunammite is faced with all her hopes being shattered. Though she speaks in faith, telling both her husband, and then Elisha's servant, that everything is "all right," you know full well the desperation she must have felt as the fears and doubts tore through her mind and soul.

By the time she reaches Elisha, she can't hold it back any longer, "Did I ask you for a son, my lord? she said, "Didn't I tell you, 'Don't raise my hopes'?" (2 Kings 4:28).

Can't you just hear the bitter anguish in this question? I was doing okay, before. Why would you get my hopes up, if I was only going to lose him?  I can't live through this!  How dare you, offer me hope only to strip it all away!?

But even in the midst of despair, pain, and anger, she knows where her hope lies.  She refuses to go back without Elisha.  There was something about this prophet's faith that left something for her to cling to.  His way of life had left such an impression on her that she knew he had a connection to the Most High. If her son was to live again, it would be through the power of God alone.

May I take a moment to point out the connection to our own lives?  The fact that you experience times of despair, pain, and anger, does not mean that you are not strong in your faith. Don't listen to the voices that tell you so! The fact that you go to the One who can restore your hope, time and time again, this is what defines your faith.

Have no doubt, the Shunammite is a woman of strength. She knows her God. She may stumble, but she will not fall. She acts in faith despite her fear. She goes the distance, though she goes alone. She recognizes the power of God in the prophet of God. And because she demonstrates a faith that refuses to give up, or back down, or hide under the covers, her God restores not only her joy, but the life of her son.

That's what's at stake here, isn't it?  The lives of your loved ones?  Many of you have children, husbands, family, and friends who are dead in their sins.  Many of you have experienced the deaths of dreams as well as relationships. Many of you have built walls around your hearts to protect yourself from hopes deferred. Many of you feel like you're completely on your own. And you wonder... You wonder if you're strong enough to keep going.  You wonder if God will really meet your deepest longing and sustain it for as long as you live.  You wonder if He will really show His power on your behalf.  My dear woman, you are and He will!  Why else would He include the Shunammite's story?   He wants you to know that He sees the gifts you freely offer. He sees and fulfills your greatest desires. He sees the resolution of your faith. He may allow that faith to be tested, but, through that, His glory will be revealed in you and bestow life on those you love.

And there's more!

The Shunammite reappears in 2 Kings chapter 8. Because of her closeness to God and her friendship with the man of God, Elisha warns her, too, when God tells him there is going to be a famine in the land.  Isn't that beautiful?  God plans ahead for her provision!  She takes the man of God at his word and leads her family away to safety.

After seven years, when the famine is over, the Shunammite returns again to her homeland, but for some undisclosed reason, she finds her home is not considered hers any longer.  Think for just a minute. What would you do in her situation?  You go where God directs you only to find that something has been lost or the way ahead is uncertain.  Do you give up?  Assume, you misheard and turn back?  Again, her husband is no where to be seen.  Perhaps by this time he has passed away and she truly is on her own, but either way, she's not able to rely on him to take care of the situation.  So what does she do? Verse 3 tells us, "...she went to appeal to the king for her house and land."  But something tells me that before she went to the king of the land, she went to the King of Kings, because even while she is on her way to the palace, God is orchestrating events to show her favor!  Not only does she receive back "all that belonged to her," the king commands that she receive even the income from her land for all the days she'd been gone.

I love this!  God grants her greatest desire, even after she's given up hope.  He honors her faith and restores her loved ones to life. He warns her of danger. He protects her along with her family. He sustains her through the famine. He directs her steps back to her home.  He graces her with boldness. He causes others to show her favor. And He provides all that she needs - and restores all that she's lost - throughout her life.

When I finished reading the Shunammite's story this time, I wondered why we aren't told her name.  After all, this woman's story is amazing!  Certainly just as memorable as Ruth, Esther, Deborah, and Jael's.  So why not call her by name?  I've come to the conclusion that its because so many of us can see ourselves in her story.  She could be any one of us!

Those of us who give freely from our hearts,

Who live a life of integrity and discernment,

Who can recognize the man of God and show hospitality to God's people,

Who place our faith in God - and God alone!

Who see our loved ones restored to life because of that faith,

Who stay in close relationship with both God and those lead by him,

Who take Him at His word and walk in obedience,

Who go where He leads,

Who speak with boldness before the king,

Who experience His favor, protection, provision, grace, and love.

Yes, this is your story!  There's no doubt it can be, for, "His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse, nor his delight in the legs of the warrior; the Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love" (Psalm 147:10-11).  If you are depending on Him, remember that He delights in you!  You are not alone.  Your strength and all that you need comes from Him.  Rest in that hope, and continue in the faith of the Shunammite...

For you are loved, you are chosen, and you are His.